Mr. Neil (mrneilesq) wrote,
Mr. Neil

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What I hate about Jon...

bruingod: nah all i've been asking for is honesty and i'm getting it

NorvilleHardy: Meh... we all know that living a lie is the way to true happiness.

bruingod: nah i cant stand it

NorvilleHardy: Honesty, eh? In that case, there are a few things I've always wanted to say to you.

bruingod: go ahead

NorvilleHardy: 1) I've never liked the way you've dressed like a tramp.
NorvilleHardy: 2) I hate the way that you don't finish my sentences for me.
NorvilleHardy: 3) I can't stand the way you almost never go dump scrounging
NorvilleHardy: 4) Three words: Too many teeth
NorvilleHardy: 5) Never passed the bar
NorvilleHardy: 6) No decrative hood ornament on chest

bruingod: write your congressman

NorvilleHardy: 7) You refuse to celebrate my made up holidays
NorvilleHardy: 8 ) You keep making reference to my congressman, no matter how many times I 've told you he died.
NorvilleHardy: 9) BBBQO
NorvilleHardy: 10) Inability to shave off eyebrows (Mat's)
NorvilleHardy: 11) Elbow Degreaser
NorvilleHardy: 12) No high speed photography of you blinking on website
NorvilleHardy: 13) Over Underuse of Ampersands
NorvilleHardy: 14) All of your DVDs have bite marks on them
NorvilleHardy: 15) Obscene Licence plate.
NorvilleHardy: 16) Lack of safety on home security elephant gun

bruingod: is that all

NorvilleHardy: 17) interrupts

bruingod: F&&& Y&&

NorvilleHardy: 18 ) Never produced a broadway play that you didn't star in
NorvilleHardy: 19) Beat me out in Orson Wells look a like contest

bruingod: oh so my production of rent doesn't cut it for you

NorvilleHardy: Well, you made it about a well to do bounder who had no trouble paying the rent.
NorvilleHardy: 20) Dual Eyepatches
NorvilleHardy: 21) Bought Cell Phone with drug Money
NorvilleHardy: 22) Constant smell of fish and chips on your personage
NorvilleHardy: 23) Poor bloodflow
NorvilleHardy: 24) Cluster of birthmarks NOT scraped off with the broad side of a butter knife
NorvilleHardy: 25) Left foot is a little bigger than the right bicept
NorvilleHardy: 26) You hair smells funny when burnt
NorvilleHardy: 27) Blue Plate special in your house always has too much fiberglass in it

bruingod: you know what i dont like about you?

NorvilleHardy: 28 ) You never know when to tell me to stop?
NorvilleHardy: Ok..I've got 3 seconds

bruingod: you make long lists

NorvilleHardy: 29) You reframe my jokes, but in a worse font
NorvilleHardy: 30) Chest Wig

bruingod: oh sorry ill try to be MORE dull

NorvilleHardy: 31) All mirrors in your house scotchguarded
NorvilleHardy: 32) Bumperpool table has no bumpers

bruingod: or table

NorvilleHardy: 33) Air Hockey indiced shy bladder
NorvilleHardy: 34) Semantics
NorvilleHardy: 35) Your constant butchering of the names of Foreign Dignitaries to their faces.

bruingod: what about my seamen

NorvilleHardy: 36) Willing to share anything you have on you.
NorvilleHardy: 37) Bert and Ernie complex with roommate.
NorvilleHardy: 38 ) My !)(*@)(*&!ing chat program keeps turning 8) into smilie faces
NorvilleHardy: 39) Never bought me a boat
NorvilleHardy: 40) Makes macaronie and cheese with house shingles and hot cocoa mix
NorvilleHardy: 41) No lower body strength
NorvilleHardy: 42) No Upper body.... at all
NorvilleHardy: 43) Doesn't look good in a hat
NorvilleHardy: 44) Numberous concealed piercings

bruingod: in response to 42) well how do you think i afforded the phone

NorvilleHardy: 45) Lives at hock shop
NorvilleHardy: 46) Nostrils always crammed with something organic
NorvilleHardy: 47) Licks wall outlets for a cheap buzz
NorvilleHardy: 48 ) Sings "I am the captain of the Pinefore" every time he's in the tub and there are British people swabbing it.
NorvilleHardy: 49) Misses Gilbert and Sullivan References
NorvilleHardy: 50) No vestigial tail
NorvilleHardy: 51) Thinks cough drops qualify as vitamins
NorvilleHardy: 52) Uses quarters in vedning machines, and keeps slugs.

bruingod: well only of the bullets that killed people

NorvilleHardy: 53) Pause button broken from repeated VCR viewing of National Geographic native tribes VHS set.

bruingod: nah the internet has better pics

NorvilleHardy: 54) Thumbs clearly atrophied
NorvilleHardy: 55) No trophy wife
NorvilleHardy: 56) Thinks Zack is a food group
NorvilleHardy: 57) Single handedly caused potato blight
NorvilleHardy: 58 ) Rejected free Seguay on grounds that "If the battery runs out, I won't feel like walking"

bruingod: some idiot came into our store on one

NorvilleHardy: 59) Undressing in front of ghosts of ancesters

bruingod: they gave me ghost dollars im gonna need in the afterlife

NorvilleHardy: 60) Is jealous of rich customers at CVS

bruingod: they also give me ghost dollars

NorvilleHardy: 61) Thinks that ghost dollars are more valuable than arcade tikets

bruingod: who want to play skee ball

NorvilleHardy: 62) Never accepts my challenges at Funspot because he's too busy sweating profusely.

bruingod: name a sunday after i move

bruingod: then your ass is mine

NorvilleHardy: 63) Thinks Mat is 10,000 feet tall because of malfunctioning depth perception
NorvilleHardy: 64) Assumes that I don't spend my weekends participating in combonation walkathons and whale saving.
NorvilleHardy: 65) My hand is cramping

bruingod: show me phot evidence

bruingod: so start typing with 2 hands perv

NorvilleHardy: 66) Omits "o"s to be trendy

bruingod: trends have to start somewhere

NorvilleHardy: Thinks Everyone engages in autoerotic activities whilst chatting casually on AIM, just because he does.
NorvilleHardy: 68 ) stole number 67, is feared dead

bruingod: good god get a room

NorvilleHardy: 69) Never pays for my hotel rooms

bruingod: you never asked

NorvilleHardy: 70) Can't forsee future needs
NorvilleHardy: 71) Licks lips when whistling

bruingod: i was a soothsayer in my last life

NorvilleHardy: 72) Only whistles with a full mouth of food
NorvilleHardy: 73) Thinks his seventh sense outshines the sixth
NorvilleHardy: 74) IV Drip filled with holy water

bruingod: man that stings

NorvilleHardy: 75) Thinks that his pet Lizard should learn to eat Canelloni
NorvilleHardy: 76) Needs goggles to keep his eyes from stinging in the shower
NorvilleHardy: 77) Pierced tounge locks onto pierced navel
NorvilleHardy: 78 ) Refries refried beans
NorvilleHardy: 79) Wallpaper has no holes in it
NorvilleHardy: 80) Thinks that EVERY movie is 3d if you just wear the glasses

bruingod: NorvilleHardy: 78 ) Refries refried beans i think that is my favorite one so far

NorvilleHardy: 81) Serenades himself with love songs about his own verility
NorvilleHardy: 82) Massive overuse of chapstick.
NorvilleHardy: 83) Uses facecloths to dry off after getting out of shower
NorvilleHardy: 84) Thinks fruit roll ups are a source of calcium
NorvilleHardy: 85) Can recite the poem Jabberwocky, but only backwards and with someone rubbing his belly
NorvilleHardy: 86) Unhealthy fixation with flouride
NorvilleHardy: 87) Blames witches for misplacing his car keys
NorvilleHardy: 88 ) TOurette's

bruingod: can i just say i love futurama

NorvilleHardy: 89) Has the lung capacity of a newborn icecube
NorvilleHardy: 90) States his irellivant points with pride

bruingod: well they are MY opinions

NorvilleHardy: 91) Dials 9-1-1 to hit on operators, stating "There's a fire in my pants"
NorvilleHardy: 92) Thinks that just because an opinion originates from his head that it's not propery of Procter and Gamble
NorvilleHardy: 93) Hangs around with clam shuckers for the free "empties"
NorvilleHardy: 94) Had to look up the word "shuckers"
NorvilleHardy: 95) Accidently looked up the word "Smuckers", came up with Jam website
NorvilleHardy: 96) Is now constantly saying "With a name like Jon, you KNOW I gotta be good"
NorvilleHardy: 97) Weeps quietly when Kodak commercials come on./
NorvilleHardy: 98 ) Mixes Fruit Loops into his martinis.
NorvilleHardy: 99) Hangnails. Thousands of them

bruingod: lalala

NorvilleHardy: 100) Keeps a blog of the things he spits up
NorvilleHardy: 101) Sings x-rated drinking songs
NorvilleHardy: 102) That thing he does where he picks his teeth with the bathroom key at the gas station.
NorvilleHardy: 103) Double Jointed... but the wrong way
NorvilleHardy: 104) Eats fixodent like a sandwich spread
NorvilleHardy: 105) Stubble Topiary
NorvilleHardy: 106) Does a Ricci Ricardo Impression when greeting widows at funerals
NorvilleHardy: 107) Tennis Elbow
NorvilleHardy: 108 ) Drinks Mustard as a beverage
NorvilleHardy: 109) Thick callouses under his eyes.
NorvilleHardy: 110) Thinks dancing is a contact sport
NorvilleHardy: 111) Lost virginity to massage chair

bruingod: mats not really your friend

bruingod: i think neil is insane
bruingod: but certainly dont tell him

captaintycho666: oh ...when u figure that out sherlock ?

bruingod: he's to busy typing a pointless message

bruingod: also dont tell him he's a yella belly cod wrangler

captaintycho666: okey dokey

NorvilleHardy: 112)Reposts things Mat just sent me
NorvilleHardy: 113) Thinks Shampoo is looking at him funny
NorvilleHardy: 114) Bar Brawls in the Kiddie Pool
NorvilleHardy: 115) Is no longer a Pices
NorvilleHardy: 116) Invested in pork bottoms. Not the stock, he just kept his wad of bills there.
NorvilleHardy: 117) Lazy Eyes
NorvilleHardy: 118 )His Lazy eyes are kind of chewy
NorvilleHardy: 119) Never eats 100 grand candy bars, thinking they're cursed
NorvilleHardy: 120) See above

bruingod: how are you not bored
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