Mr. Neil (mrneilesq) wrote,
Mr. Neil

Stupidity is the mother of invention...

I've seen the future, and it's NOT this:

It's a laptop carrying case...that's shaped like a pizza box. I'm telling you, this is the worst invention of the British since those aviator goggles that make you look like a mypoic pinhead while obstructing your view while you pilot a rickity pile of musilage held together by chewing gum. (Mental note... buy a pair of aviator goggles to invoke pity in the ladies) Anyways, let's think this through poorly thought out point by poorly concieved idea...

Proposed Pro: No one would ever think to look in a pizza box to find a laptop.
Real World Con:Pizza is a real community food, one in which it's VERY easy for an unscrupulous person to take a slice without anyone knowing. So, an already dishonest person reaches in for a slice of cardiac seizing solidified grease, and gets a top of the line Powerbook. So unless you're banking on a meal mooch to have some scruples, the design of this case will cause way more thefts than a generic, boring briefcase.

Proposed Pro: The padding in the fake pizza box will shield the equipment from excessive pummeling.
Real World Con: Have you ever SEEN a pizza delivered without being glued to the lid? If professional pizza fabricators and delivery men WHO HAVE DEVOTED THEIR LIVES TO HANDLING PIZZA BOXES can't make it work, what chance does an average layman have of getting a fragile compendium of transitors and circuit boards from point A to point B in one piece.

Proposed Pro: It's hip and trendy to be seen sporting a kitchy laptop box.
Real World Con: You are a sad, sad person who needs an object to stand out because you're bland and forgettable.

So in conclusion, only those crying out for help in spending their vast undeserved fortune should buy one of these useless things. Or better yet, donate to my cause... "The Neil Fund for Keeping Large Sums of Money out of the Hands of Gullible Fools". It's tax deductable, and if the IRS disagrees, it's your constitutional right to engage them in fisticuffs.
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