Mr. Neil (mrneilesq) wrote,
Mr. Neil


Well, if you've been reading the journals of those on my buddy list (and if you have, I consider you a traitor worse than Benedict Arnold and The Pilbury Doughboy combined) you've seen this piece of propaganda...

(Quoted from phoenixst, without expressed written permission)

When will Neil update his journal?
This is the post where I pick someone to annoy about updating their journal, thus becoming the stereotypical livejournal, or should I say "LJ", user!

Today's victim is my friend Neil! Hi Neil! Everybody wave! That's right! I'm using my livejournal as an indirect source of e-mail! Yay! This way I can not only annoy Neil, but I can annoy everyone who reads my journal by using it to send personal messages instead of documenting my life like a Discovery Channel special!

Now, you might be thinking: "hey, Neil has just as much right to neglect his journal as anybody! Why don't you leave him alone you big bully!" Well, you're absolutely right! But since today I'm playing the role of the average 13 year old irritation-child, I have no need to listen to reason. So, he gets a rant anyway:

NEIL! Update your livejournal. I demand it in the whiniest, most high-pitched voice ever!

There. You have been ranted. Consider this a warning. If you don't consider this a warning... well, this wasn't really meant to be taken seriously anyway. Cheerio, old chums!


So you see my dilemma, if I post in my LiveJournal *EVER* again, I look like I'm as foolishly impressionable as a young child told that working hard will get him ahead in life. But being an utter weasel (not an invective in my personal dictionary - which also includes the word Festizio) I'm not taking this lying down, nor am I solving the problem using time nor effort. That's right! A Virtual clip show! I'm just cutting and pasting my hackneyed response to the aforementioned letter. TAKE THAT! I won't take such treatment lying down...oh wait, I am - but in an insolent kind of way...

(Quoted from MrNeilEsq without his consent (the poor, mindless SAP!))

All right, there lil' miss! You've just bought yourself a longer hiatus! I've decided (Just this moment, mind you) to go on semi-indefinite sabbatical! But what will I do with all of my pressing anecdotes and uncontainable thoughts? That's right! Never had them, never will! It's the best part of being a virtual introvert is that you're stingy with sharing your sentiments to begin with! Now thanks to this diatribe/character-assassination I'm keeping EVERYTHING to myself! That means when someone I know passes me on the street, rather than chance getting a nosy inquiry about my opinions on the weather, I'll merely crowbar their kneecap and dash to the nearest bordering country. Even if I'm on fire, now I'll opt to walk it off rather than calling for assistance (ironically, the firemen in my town react the same way to uneventfullness as to me burning alive - that is, ordering another overpriced coffee and casually listening to the inevitable cursing). Because, when you really think about it, my greatest gift to the world is my well thought out verbal discourses, which I am promptly enforcing an embargo upon. Oh, wait - maybe *that's* the greatest gift I have to offer.


That's all you get! Now be gone, Livejournal Addict!
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